Despite it all, I still love my birth control.

I had a terrible time after G was born finding a birth control pill that worked for me.  Obviously at first, I needed the mini-pill since I was breastfeeding, but I didn't want to keep taking that after I weaned.  I'm now on my fourth type of pill since I had the kid.  It's better than the others that gave me nine day periods and bleeding randomly during the month.  But the worst thing is that my PMS symptoms exactly mimic my symptoms from very early in my pregnancy with G.   Cramping that feels like implantation, very sore boobs, tiredness, and some nausea. 

So where does this lead me?  Every single month I'm freaking out that I might be pregnant.  Even though I know it's highly unlikely as I'm on the pill and take it religiously, never missing a dose.  And that's what I'm going through right now.  ohmygodpleasepleasepleasedon'tletmebepregnant.  Every fucking month this happens and every fucking month I actually think ok, I thought this last month.  But I swear this time it's different! 

I'm not pregnant. I know I'm not and I'm just freaking out.  But ohmygod.  If we had to pay for daycare for two kids, we'd so be in the poor house.